Embarrassment as Your Muse

Squirming, blushing, dry mouth, wet palms, shrinking or running away?  Feeling caught, mis-understood or outright little leads to that head to toe feeling of embarrassment.  After a few incidents in childhood, we’ll do almost ANYTHING to avoid feeling embarrassed!

Have you ever taken the time to examine all of the things you’ve learned from avoiding embarrassment?  For some of us it can be as simple as a social cue like making a better effort at remembering people’s names.  Or you may have been driven into your chosen field by wanting to appear cool, genius-y or bad-ass.

Avoiding embarrassment also leads us to over-think how we express ourselves.

Have you ever held back your ideas, solutions, or visions?  Have you ever held back standing up for yourself, embarrassed that you’ll appear selfish or (worse) needy?  Have you ever held back that simple sentence that you’re into someone?

If we avoid embarrassment, too often we are limiting our expression and what makes us unique.  We miss out what happens after the moment we say what we mean, shutting a door before we even glance at what’s on the other side.  Hey, I’ll agree with you – on the other side there could be rejection, dismissiveness, laughter, confusion or a verbal sliming.  Yet, there also MAY be agreement, excitement, a deeper debate, recognition or a smile.

The more we expose and express our core, the quicker we see results, more doors open and (I promise) it gets easier to go with your instincts.  And that’s what embarrassment can help you move towards.

If the idea of publishing a short story makes you feel shy or embarrassed – head in that direction.  You’ve just been tipped off that you’re afraid to expose your true self.

The Muse of Embarrassment can be a quiet, blushing guide who shows you the places you’re willing to cull who you are.  With a shaking hand she’s showing you the precise choice  – open up or turn away.  Every time it’s up to you.

Now there are a lot of coaches who will tell you that you can’t make a wrong choice.  It’s the best you can do that day.  I don’t see it that way.   I see that we habituate ourselves into capping off our expression, shutting off the things that TURN US ON.

 

If expression means something to you, if living out your dreams pulls at your heart than you have to do some things that lie on the other side of embarrassment.  You’ll have to feel your neck to turn to fire, swallow against saying, “I’m sorry”, “I didn’t really mean that” or “Well, it was just my first erotic novel”.

Opening up to creating and true expression, for many of us, is a practice.  We need to make a habit of expression to thwart the habit of shutting down.  With practice the Muse of Embarrassment may leave our side, able to drift off and watch over our lives with a sense of a job well done.  Like all Muses, she wants to help as many people as possible.

So here’s the deal.  This is on my mind because I’m currently doing something that really embarrasses me!  I’m recording a collection of guided meditations and have to hear my own voice over and over.  It’s like looking at my driver’s licenses and freshman year high school photo again and again.  Plus, I have the insane idea that these recordings will help people.  Yet clients ask all of the time, “would you make me a recording that I can listen to?”  And while it feels sometimes like a basket of eels is exploding from my chest… my answer is “Yes”.  I recognize that by putting off hearing my voice I’m also putting off helping more people and throwing a blanket over my expression.  So, I’m turning towards my embarrassment and the Muse of Embarrassment and I are learning Garage Band.

 

It’s time to love up your own sweaty palms!  Move towards that heat and that shyness…. discover what is on the other side.  Let your magic out ~

 

With love and light,

Kim